The Not-A-Wedding Celebration of Individual Wholeness

We’re so excited to be helping you to have your own or participate in a Not-A-Wedding Celebration of Individual Wholeness. This ritual is designed to be a communal recognition that each of us, as imperfect humans living a world with diverse sensations, are whole as is and can honor ourselves as the precious humans with dignity that we already are. The ceremony consists of four meditations spread throughout a party, and ends with a ritual designed by the host.

While this ceremony was originally inspired by the experiences of ending an engagement and divorce, this ritual is bigger than that context. The reminder that we don’t need a second person to complete ourselves and are whole as is can be appropriate at any stage of life. The Celebration of Individual Wholeness is for anyone who wants to celebrate that they can reliably show up for themselves, and honor the worth of their energy. The ritual is designed to be communal, as the recognition of our inherent worth and adequacy is a shared human struggle, and one that we can try to move through together.

If you’re a guest, all you’ll need to do is show up and click play on a meditation when your host tells you to.

If you’re a host, you’ll need to:

1. Plan your own party, leaving about one hour to dedicate to the meditations and rituals. Have each guest bring headphones so that they can listen to the meditations on their own. If you want to have someone guide them live, a transcript is provided at the bottom of the page.

2. Print and cut-out the negative core beliefs and the needs / values PDF for each guest. In addition, provide each guest with pen and paper.

3. Have a container for guests to put the negative core belief papers in, and choose a method for destroying the paper, such as burning or shredding.

4. Design a ritual at the end of the meditations to integrate the experiences. The original ritual used was to provide each guest with a plant, and have each guest sprinkle some the ashes of the negative core beliefs into the soil while promising to honor themselves.

5. Gather some kind of physical object, like meditation stones or crystals, to offer as an alternative object of focus for any guest to whom breathwork is inaccessible.

Part One: Landing Meditation

To begin the ceremony, each guest will listen to one of the landing meditations. This short exercise encourages all guests to explore their range of physical and emotional sensations, and to enter the space as their full selves.

Part Two: Food and Drinks

Spend some time after the landing meditation letting guests eat, drink and mingle. Enjoy yourself! It’s a party after all.

Part Three: Compassion for a Friend Meditation

Next, each guest will listen to one of the compassion for a friend meditations. This exercise will encourage guests to explore the kind of warm regard they hold toward their loved ones. Give five to ten minutes space for discussion before the Part Four meditation.

Part Four: Exploring Self Meditation

Next, each guest will listen to one of the exploring self meditations. This exercise will encourage guests to explore their good and frustrating traits, and touch on key burdens / negative core beliefs that may arise. For this exercise, lay out the cards with the most common negative core beliefs printed on them, in addition to blank cards and pens for guests to write. Provide some kind of vessel for guests to put these cards in.

Part Five: Food and Drinks

Spend some time after the second two meditations letting guests eat, drink and mingle. Enjoy yourself! It’s a party after all. Over this period, leave out the cards for negative core beliefs, and let guests add new ones to the container throughout the entire period.

Part Six: Destroying Negative Core Beliefs

Before the final meditation, destroy all the papers with negative core beliefs, such as by burning or shredding.

Part Seven: Making Vows Meditation

Next, each guest will listen to one of the making vows meditations. This exercise will encourage guests to explore their core values, and to make three vows to themselves as to how they will honor themselves. For this exercise, lay out the list of common needs and values for each guest, and provide each guest with pen and paper to write down their vows.

Part Eight: Integration Ritual

End the ceremony with an integration ritual - something that encourages guests to blend everything they have done together, including:

1. Shedding themselves of their negative core beliefs

2. Turning the underlying energy of those burdens onto meeting their needs and wants in a healthier way

3. Honoring the vows they made for themselves

For the first Not-A-Wedding celebration of self, guests were each provided a succulent in an animal vase. Each guest was asked to add in some of the ashes from the burned negative core belief papers while saying the vows they each crafted to themselves.

Part Nine: Food, Drinks and Toasts

End the event letting guests eat, drink and mingle. Enjoy yourself! It’s a party after all.

If you want, allow guests to give toasts.