Exhausted Millennial

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TWOS - PLANNING

THE TWOS IN THE DECK OF CARE ENCOURAGE YOU TO LIVE EACH DAY WITH PURPOSE AND INTENTION.

The Twos encourage you to live each day with purpose and intention - making sure that you are proactively aiming to meet your needs and reaching toward your long-term goals. Research has consistently shown that setting intentions (and communicating them) makes it more likely that we will achieve them. Each of the two cards can be paired with other cards in the deck to schedule self-care and to develop self-care habits.

Two of Diamonds - Caring for your Physical Self

The Two of Diamonds encourages you to plan to meet your body's physical needs in a way that leaves you feeling nourished. While this card aims to build that kind of thinking through meal planning, our hope is that as you grow your skill set, you will try to plan for your body’s physical needs. This could include:

  1. Meal planning and prep to encourage healthful eating, as the card suggests

  2. Scheduled sleep, aiming to keep good sleep hygiene by going to bed at the same time each night and waking up at the same time each morning

  3. An exercise routine or plan

  4. Regular medical care

  5. An established personal hygiene regiment

If you have a clear plan on how you will maintain physical well-being, you are more likely to take care of your physical well-being.

Two of Hearts - Scheduling Joy

The Two of Hearts encourages you to plan to meet your mind’s emotional needs for happiness and joy. Taking a proactive approach to this basic human need will ensure that you have moments of happiness and joy throughout your weeks. You could pull sources of joy from the other cards, or find anything that is satisfying to you. Some examples are:

  1. Setting a time to hang out with a friend or family member

  2. Planning a movie night

  3. Scheduling a long walk in a park

  4. Creating a meditation or gratitude practice

  5. Finding time to be alone

The goal is to make sure you are participating in life’s activities that bring you pleasure.

Two of Clubs - Planning New Experiences

The Two of Clubs encourages you to regularly shake up your routine by experiencing new things. While we humans do enjoy routine and stability, we also need novel stimulation to spark creativity, excitement, and passion. The goal is to take a proactive approach to ensuring that your life does not become too monotonous - making sure that your needs for new stimulation will be met. This could mean:

  1. Learning something new

  2. Making a new recipe

  3. Going to a new place

  4. Meeting a new person

The goal is both (1) to avoid getting into a rut, or feeling trapped in your day-to-day, (2) to spark creative energies in you that allow for innovation and creativity.

Two of Spades - Strategic Goal Setting

The Two of Spades encourages you to make sure your needs for accomplishment and success are met. By taking a moment each day or week to list out what are truly your priorities, you are more likely to make sure the most important things are completed. This will also empower you to set appropriate boundaries, and make sure unimportant tasks don’t prevent you from meeting your goals.

Try not to have more than three priorities for a week or a day. For minor tasks, keep a to-do list so that you can run them all in a sprint instead of having them interrupt you throughout your days.

When something goes wrong, try to bring in the skills you learn from the Nines (self-kindness), and don’t take missing a target too hard. Be compassionate with yourself as you aim to reach your goals, and always try to plan in a way that sets you up for success.

Some Notes on Habits and Making Things Easier for Yourself

As you get better at planning, our hope is that you will combine the practices of all four Twos to create a planning routine that works for you. When it makes sense, turn some of your plans into habits so that you do them by routine. As you plan, you will hit activities you want to integrate into your life but are struggling to do so. Below are some research-backed strategies to change your behavior.

  1. Temptation Bundling: If you’re trying to accomplish something you find unpleasant, pair it with something you find pleasant. This could be “I will listen to an audiobook while I do the dishes” or “I can have a square of chocolate after I run.”

  2. Habit Pairing: If you have an existing habit and want to build a second, group them together. For example, “I will empty the dishwasher after I feed the dogs.”

  3. Automation: As much as possible, create automated clues or behaviors for yourself. This could be as simple as “I will have a daily alarm for when I need to get ready for bed.”

  4. Make it Hard: A lot of our bad behaviors come from emotional, impulsive actions. If you can create any buffer between your emotions and potential actions, you are more likely to avoid the unwanted behavior. This could be “I won’t keep chocolate in the house. When I want it, I have to walk to CVS to buy a candy bar.”

  5. Make it Easy: When you want to add a new, healthful behavior, you want to do the opposite, and remove all obstacles to getting it done. This could be “I will sleep in my running clothes so that I can run right when I get out of bed without changing.”

  6. Buy Help: If you are fortunate enough to have extra disposable income, buy yourself help. Research shows that people who buy themselves time by paying for services are happier and experience more feelings of time abundance. If you want a clean house to reduce anxiety, this could mean buying cleaners. If you want healthful meals but don’t want to cook, this could mean paying for a meal plan. Always remember that you can do more paid work you enjoy to then pay someone else to do the work you don’t enjoy.